Photos by Diana

Vintage from head to toe – all pieces from estate sales: black 1960’s straw hat with bow and veil, black jet earrings, orange silk rose, sheer nylon gloves, black 1970’s lace dress over black 1940’s silk satin slip with lace trim, black suede heeled sandals.

The SC’s friend Diana, who has generously been taking my photos, requested a rose delivery for her friend whose father recently transitioned at the nursing home a block from my home.  His memorial service was held in the morning at the facility where he had been a resident, and the presentation was to occur before the ceremony.  Prior to the delivery, photos were taken in my rose garden in the back yard, which is in full bloom.  We then walked to the service in black lace with roses.

This was a poignant delivery, and the first at a memorial service.  I spoke spontaneously from the heart, widow to widow, and felt a meaningful connection that would not have been present without my personal experience.  It gave me great satisfaction to provide comfort and empathy to a family beginning their journey through the wilderness of grief.

I am aware, as I compose this post, that it is the anniversary of N’s memorial service.  I am mindful of synchronicity and the cycle of life and death, as treasured memories flood my thoughts in honor of this day.

Tags : roseswidow


  1. I’ve heard it said that love is the only thing where the more you give away, the more you have. I’m sure that the love and support you were able to offer this family were invaluable, and as you say, it gave you great satisfaction as well. It seems like the perfect way to honor this day, yet another anniversary.

    You wear your lovely vintage pieces with beauty and elegance.

  2. My goodness, you must have been a dancer at some point, you do carry yourself well. Your stance is so graceful. What an elegant outfit and the rose brings just the right touch of colour to lift this from sad black to hopeful black. I always have liked your use of the word “transition” – it feels right in that it makes the human/spirit cycle a perfect circle or spiral. Your strength, as seen from the grief and renewal process you have shared here, must surely have resonated at the gathering as a comfort.

  3. The Circle of life and death… the Rose Lady brings love and wisdom for you have truly walked the path.

  4. Lovely gesture and I am sure gratefully appreciated. After 6 months of almost unbearable grief and I am trying to wrap my head around the “transition” concept. A work in progress here.

  5. You look so beautiful among the roses. It’s a wonderful and generous thing to offer a guiding hand to those undertaking the difficult journey of grief.

  6. You look as beautiful and elegant as always, and the orange rose is the perfect counterpoint to the black. There is colour to be found, despite the darkness of grief. Without your own experience, your words and empathy would not mean as much to others feeling sadness at their own loss. I think that’s where true beauty lies, in kindness and generosity of spirit, and treasured memories. xxx

  7. Judith, your beautiful smile in that second photo lifted my spirits this morning. You are kind to offer comfort and guidance as a widow to a new widow.

  8. You live your life through its trials and joy with such elegance and beauty. Thank you for taking us with you on this trip and for being such an inspiration.

  9. Judith, you are an amazing woman. So eloquent, beautiful and kind. And I shall be raising a toast to you at Ari Seth Cohen’s Advanced Style London book launch tomorrow!

  10. It is wonderful that you were able to offer what you have learned in your journey to a family that is just beginning theirs. You have a very generous spirit Judith, and it has won the hearts of everyone around you. Even though the word “elegant” has already been used in previous posts, I shall use it again, as you are the personification of the word in this photo.

  11. Oh, Judith–you look so very elegant. Just regal…and what beautiful collarbones you have. I am sorry to hear about this passing and yet, you are showing us that there is a tender sort of mercy in the cycle of life.

  12. Wow. When I first found your blog I read your older posts and was feeling your pain. The way you spoke of him was just precious. Now you are a gift to others because of the deep understanding. So beautiful. And your outfit is A M A Z I N G ! All that vintage, I can just feel the decades! Amazing hat and you are lovely as always. xo

  13. You are so fabulous, I hope the kindness & generosity of spirit you showed made such a poignant day feel much better.
    That lace dress is so elegant and timeless on you, Nelson would be so very proud. x

  14. You are such an elegant woman in body, mind & spirit. The stunning beauty of you in your lace/rose outfit was outmatched only, however, by your generosity of love & care.

  15. Your garden must be a paradise! On every photo I see new flowers, and these amazing roses! Sharing your roses and yourself are heartwarming gestures, that I’m sure are much appreciated everywhere! You look absolutely divine in your garden!

  16. Those sleeves! And the gloves! Beautiful vintage pieces.

    To giving spirits like you: you make the world a better place to live in.

  17. Judith you are the most generous loving person!

    I have seen lots of 60’s hat like yours, i always think they do not suit me well, but i see how it looks on you and maybe it does look ok on me
    Love the contrast of the rose on the black dress
    Just beautiful!


  18. This outfit gave me goosebumps, of a strange sort of joy, before I even read this post- it is a beautiful composition of lace, black with texture and a determined bloom of rose pinned at the shoulder. How fitting you are here to comfort another- widow to widow, from one “one who has been through the briar patch,” to another.

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