Photo by The Style Crone

There’s that dime we’ve been turning on again.  How quickly things change as crisis hit yesterday and didn’t get resolved without 12 hours in the ER.  Nelson spent the day in bed before a late night ambulance intervention set up by hospice.  The SC’s pin collection gazed at her during this day as part of the art in our bedroom. Each unique piece a reflection of a spot in time. Gifts from Nelson, family and friends. Estate sales and yard sales.  Events and dates.  Thirty-four years spoke to me from velvet and frame.

Status change can be instantaneous at this point.  Camille and The SC slept in varying positions on interesting surfaces in the ER, bonding as never before with our shared devotion and concern for her father.  The years of suffering that he has endured are revealed on his face, only increasing the strength of his presence.  Even now, through the fog of pain meds he will occasionally flash his charismatic smile, filling the room with radiance if only for a few seconds.  His ever present ‘reebok’ cap warming his head in the unrelenting brightness of the ER on a Saturday night filled with the traumas of our fellow travelers.  The compassionate act of a caregiver covering Camille and The SC with heated blankets warm more than our bodies.  The nurse who sweeps me into her arms and weeps with me as she cares for Nelson.  The hospice nurse who says to me as we leave for home per ambulance, ‘The two of you are lovers.  This is the best time and the hardest time-for both of you.’ -took my breath away!

Nelson is in a hospital bed in the living room.  He can no longer navigate the stairs to our bedroom.  But he is at home and comfortable, surrounded by familiar sights and love.  A new level of care is required and I will post as I am able.  Thank you to the readers of Style Crone and those of you who comment with such kind and caring support.  You make a huge difference in our journey.

63 Comments

  1. I’ve been lurking for a long time and I admire you, Nelson and the grace and style with which you are facing this part of your journey. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and I wish you peace.

  2. My eyes filled with tears as I read this…it has not been that long since I had to come to similar terms with my father. but the understanding of that nurse is breath-taking. Just know that you are in my prayers.

  3. I’ve been reading your blog daily for some time. Your sharing of yourself – your sense of style, your journey with Nelson through his illness – is powerful and inspiring, and has been a tremendous gift. Thank you.
    Wishing you, Nelson and Camille peace, love and unfailing support from those around you.

    Diane

  4. You clarity of mind in this difficult situation takes my breath away. I don´t event want to imagen how I would feel in your situation.
    I hug you both from here. I do hope you can feel my wings.
    Much love to you both.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  5. I don’t know how you manage to write anything. I do know how to hurt but I don’t handle it as well as you and Nelson and Camille. Even now the three of you exude beauty and love. My love to Nelson and Camille and to you for your great heart and for allowing us to share.

  6. Judith, I teared up as the nurse ministered to you so beautifully and acknowledged your love. I simply want to say…your blogging community is here, linked in our hearts with you. I pray for you and Nelson every morning….may Comfort surround you.

  7. What an appropriate photo! Just as the jewelry is not fully confined within the frame that holds it, your memories together and your love spills freely without knowing boundaries. — I’ll be thinking of you, Nelson, and Camille and sending best wishes for your comfort.

  8. Dearest ones,

    Grace has given you a wonderful, loving family, deep wisdom and old-soul lives, and friends whose hearts are linked to yours. Sad, difficult, wrenching, yet you (and we) are always connected forever. I give you all of my love. Trust the Source to give you respite and peace.

  9. I am there with you. We are there with you. You can not see us or even feel us, but know we are there with you. Your capacity to love, and be loved in return, is huge, and so your pain is huge. You got him home. He is surrounded by love. You are surrounded by love.

  10. I am so sorry for the pain and suffering for you, Camille, and Nelson. You are living fully all the emotions and so aware of what is important, which will always be a blessing. Take good care of yourself and Nelson and know that others care.

  11. What Terri (above) said.

    Those of us who have lost someone we love, and those who know we will face this loss, suffer in part with you. Thank you for sharing your journey with your inimitable style.

  12. Sending my best wishes for peace, comfort, support and love to you, Nelson and Camille. You are a beautiful family, and your love for one another shines brightly, just as your framed jewels do.

  13. Your blog has been a daily fixture in my life for several months now. You radiate joy and love even amidst the difficult path you and Nelson are walking. I wish there was some concrete help I could offer, but I live on the east coast. Please take some comfort that there is one more person, among many, who thinks of you each day. At moments when you need strength, imagine all of us surrounding you in a giant hug…

  14. Should I ever find myself in a similar situation, I know I will remember the beautiful example you are setting of equanimity, courage, and love.
    You have my prayers.

  15. Although I live far from you, I am sending the strongest positive and loving vibes to you, Nelson and Camille as you all navigate through these troubled times.

  16. I’ve drawn so much comfort from the beauty and grace you and your family give to others. You are in my heart and prayers. Love every day. Love each other. Take care.

  17. I have followed your blog for some time now. You have such amazing style and show such grace under the most difficult circumstances. The love you have for Nelson pours out of each posting. My heart and prayers are with you, Nelson, and Camille as you move through your journey. I wish you all peace and love.

  18. I wish I could circle you with a warm hug – just know that my thoughts, prayers, and love are with you.

  19. Judith, I do not have your eloquent gift of words but I do not. I just want you to know that you, Nelson, and Camille are all in my heart.

  20. Judith, You and Nelson have been in our thoughts so
    much over the last five years. You have helped both of us with your
    kind words and care while we were on a similar journey as you.
    We wish you all peace and love always.

  21. You are in my heart, Judith, Nelson, and Camille, now just as every day since I found your blog through Advanced Style. I am happy that Nelson can be at home, and I am sending all my love and hope for peace to you.

  22. You are all in my thoughts and paryers. I worked with your Daughter Camille. She is an Amazing person. We miss her very much.
    We are here for all of you if you need us. Sending you all my love

  23. Judy, It has been nearly 15 years since my husband died. However, I remember the bond of that illness time that you are facing now. You are easily the most beautiful of our class, in person and in spirit. I shall prayer for you and Nelson and Camille. Thank you so much for sharing these moments.

  24. I think each day of this brilliant, spirited family I have never met. The rhthym of my day is regulated by five calls to prayer across desert sands, and I pray for you each time, not praying for miracles but for peace and serenity.
    With love and respect,
    Margaret

  25. Hello Judith! i am so sorry to hear that things got to the point that you had to hit the ER, but so very happy that the big ‘N’ is home and comfortable now. i also think heated blankets are pretty great, one of the few ‘hospital things’ i’d happily have at home 😉

    thinking of you every day. i hope you get a minute here and there to smell the spring flowers. take care, steph

  26. Checking in a dozen times a day. And each time, sitting for a moment with bowed head and closed eyes, sending love and hope for peace.

  27. Thinking of you and came here to check up on you. You continue to inspire me and others in amazing ways. Sending you thoughts as warm as those given with the blankets.
    Jonah

  28. Dear Judith,
    First came a soft rain in the night, then a beautiful spring sky ~ and all around, the blossoms.
    May sweet notes accompany you today and always.

  29. Dear Judith,
    First came a soft rain in the night, then a beautiful spring sky ~ and all around, the blossoms.
    May sweet notes accompany you today and always. Diana & family

  30. Judith…
    Patty just called and told me the terrible news. I wish I had at my fingertips the beautiful thoughts and words you always use. Please know that SO MANY people love you deeply and share in your grief. May the universe love and protect you and Camille as you go through this difficult time. May the love expressed by so many and the passion that you & Nelson share help you keep your beautiful grace and peace of mind.
    With love, Sally

  31. Dear Judith,
    You, Nelson and Camille are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the positive vibrations from your loyal fans and followers sustain you during these times.

  32. Judith,
    I saw a pink blossom today that reminded me of your recent Date Day pink hat and gloves and hopes of spring. Wishes and prayers from Arabia.
    Margaret

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