Photo by Nelson
Amy Downs black/white hat, yoga pants and tunic, black/white hand painted boots-vintage shop close out, jewelry-estate sales.
Today Nelson had a liver biopsy to determine the cause of his elevated liver enzymes which have prevented him from receiving chemo for about two months. The Style Crone’s outfit is her armor as we leave home with a sense of internal crumbling, like the brick front steps of our home which are deteriorating due to lack of attention. Over the past six years our priorities have not included home repairs. Even corrective clothing cannot conceal my waning sense of confidence, although if need be I know I have something in me which would surface if my hypervigilance would reveal an issue requiring necessary action in a medical setting. Call it body/mind memory that is always lying in wait. I believe that my feelings of uncertainty are related to the long term sense of helplessness and powerlessness to change the events that unfold before us.
Nelson’s procedure is performed in interventional radiology, and as the physician floats into the waiting area I am aware that she could moonlight as a model, with her long blond hair and blue scoop neck tee accessorized with a turquoise stethoscope. Her attention to detail is reassuring! If someone is going to stick a needle into the liver of your loved one, let it be someone who is compulsively and meticulously into detail. The entire staff is efficient with a touch of kindness, which is always a welcomed relief and we are grateful. Kindness and empathy are the bottom line in the health care arena, and we have found that these qualities are not always included in our experience. The results should be revealed within a week and we are very weary.
I don’t know what would make you or Nelson better but I will send prayers, good vibes, love and anything else I can think of.
I just prayed for you & Nelson after reading your sobering post…but I do so admire the strength you have that is actually depicted in this outfit. Your outfit says HOPE to me. That you have the HOPE to face this situation with strength for your husband. You are an amazing woman!
You and Nelson both are amazing people. I join the others in prayer for you and wish you and Nelson the very best. We have to take the little bits of encouragement wherever we find them. Kindness and empathy are vital to the overall well-being of patients.
Your daily reports about your personal experience with body/mind/spirit is so helpful. I admire how you co-ordinate your outfits with REAL LIFE events. Some fun some heart wrenching just like the ups and downs we all face. To see your outfits and hear your daily blog is inspiring on so many levels. Thank you.
SC, I am so sorry for you in these difficult days. I hope the voices here add some small comfort. I continue to carry you, Nelson, and Camille in my heart, throughout my own days, as I have been since discovering your blog. Love.
I am stunned at your ability to write and post considering all that you and nelson are going through. I have been through the same experience with my husband. I could not have been capable of remaining present in my life the way you are doing. Keep the faith.
My prayers are with you during these troubled days.
I feel for you. You are so open and so self-aware, it’s a pleasure to read even this difficult post. Best of luck with the test results.
You and your family are in my prayers as well. Stay strong and hopeful,
Jill
I am both moved and inspired by your writing–moved by your love and care for your husband and what you both are going through in dealing with the emperor of all maladies (a book i received today)–a malady that has touched loved ones of mine who are gone, dear ones who thankfully are still here, and most recently, myself. And I am inspired by your love of fashion and your promotion of it for older women like myself who are dismissed by the mainstream fashion world. You show that age need not deprive us of the fun and pride that clothes can give us. Best wishes and prayers for you and Nelson.
Joanie
wear your armor well with your amore of life, of Nelson and the courage you warrior on with showing us all how to stay alive in our lives. Love to you both, C
Thank you all for your kind and supportive comments!
If the empathy and kindness of others helps to prop you up at this difficult time, please consider my good wishes one of the props. You are so brave, and you speak so eloquently. You’re an inspiration. All the best to you and Nelson.
The boots are incredible, by the way!