Photo by The Style Crone

The memorial service hat has been sitting on the ceramic sculpture in the living room since the beginning of June.  It felt comforting to walk by its veiled splendor multiple times per day.  The hat was made by milliner Erin Saboe of Go Go Chapeaux HERE.  I treasure the memories of my time with Erin during the hat making process as I prepared for the service.  Her empathetic and gentle manner during that difficult time will always be in my heart.  I plan on featuring Erin as a part of my milliner/hat shop review, which I hope to begin in the near future.

Today I have decided that it’s time for this special hat to be placed in an exquisite tissue filled vintage box.  An organic shift has occurred and it seems as though it began as part of my decision to organize the chaos in my home.  Or maybe the shift occurred before that commitment.  I feel myself moving forward as I read, cherish and honor the cards that Nelson gave me over the years and lovingly placing them in a carefully chosen decorative box, rereading sympathy cards with a new ‘eye’ and making the decision to change the hat on the sculpture.  The process of grief is a transforming journey with its own timeline, daily revelations and evolving perceptions.


  1. How wonderful that you allow the process to unfold, and that you listen to your inner voice. No one “knows” the timing of these things, except for you. You are brave and wise, as well as quite beautiful!

  2. Grief is such a complex thing….. but giving yourself permission to move forward is a wonderful way to take ccare of yourself. I believe we honor those we lost by living our lives with love and joy. Much love to you dear Judith!! Serene

  3. Re-reading sympathy cards in a new frame of mind must be quite a healing process for you. You sound so strong! The hat is exquisite and it seems it is the right time to pack it away in a beautiful storage box, to be revisited sometimes. xo

  4. What everyone said… 🙂

    This is lovely, good news, positive steps. Just keep listening to your heart each step of the way, and take ALL THE TIME YOU NEED.

    I love re-reading those cards. It IS healing. Reminders of all the people out there who unite themselves with you in this life-changing event. Time may have passed, but the sentiment remains, and remains ever true.

    Blessings to you as you continue this journey. It’s clear you do live and move with joy, awareness, purpose and peace. A good way to live, and to celebrate Nelson.


  5. Yes, life moves on. But although looking forward, we can always look back too, with love and thankfulness for those moments of joy that we were presented with. You are not breaking with the past, you are carrying it with you in a loving and positive way.

    Much love from England,

  6. You have such a wonderful way of describing what you are experiencing. It must be so healthy to write it all down and go through the process. Beautiful hat by the way. So which hat will get this coveted space on your sculpture?

  7. I love the flair you have for displaying your beautiful hats and other accessories. Each is honored in its own particular fashion. Are you familiar with the Idiosyncratic Fashionistas blogspot? They have some wonderful photos and comments about the new Stephen Jones hat exhibition at the Bard Graduate Center in NYC. You will enjoy their presentation.

  8. Hi Judith, I am always moved by your posts, your process. The beautiful hat will rest comfortably in the tissue filled vintage box, a perfect place for safe keeping.

  9. My own experience with grief is that it is indeed a tranformative experience. It’s power is strange, deeply affecting, and present when I least expect it.

  10. I am reminded that change is the only constant. Knowing how and when the hat was made makes me see it with greater appreciation.

    Love to you and Camille.

  11. Your memorial service hat is lovely, and how wonderful to have a milliner that could guide you through the process of having it made in such a gentle manner.

  12. The recovery process continues and I am delighted to witness that you are moving …. all my love to you and Camille.

  13. Now, you know this honesty and awareness is very special to share. Not all of us are so sensitive to what is going on, this is important work you are doing AND sharing.

  14. The way you use your clothing to mark the passages in your life really inspires me. This hat a thing of beauty is such a lovely marker for the love you had for Nelsen and the mourning of hiss passing. I know you will treasure it as your treasure your memories of a life filled with love.

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