Following Nelson’s death in 2011, I renovated the upstairs of my home, which was built in 1907.  I had the hardwood floors redone and the rooms repainted.  As this was happening, my hat room lived in the dining room.  From today’s perspective, I’m aware that this was part of my process of grief.

I just finished the renovation of the powder room on my first floor and the upstairs bathroom.  I began this project about six months after my mother’s death on April 1st of 2018.  During the chaos of this remodel, my hat room remained intact.

Everyone grieves differently, but for me it seems that throwing myself into a major project that changes my surroundings mirrors my internal evolution. With loss, all relationships change, including the connection with myself. My home, which is my sanctuary, is now as transformed as I am today.

At this point, I’m unable to describe the changes that I feel.  Putting into words the subtle differences is as yet unavailable verbally. I trust that with time it will be revealed.

I do know that my home appears very different today than it did on April 20th, 2011. However, the scaffolding is the same, and I believe that to be true of me as well.

Photos by Daniel

Long mustard jacket – Brooks LTD, leopard shoes – Two Sole Sisters, black silk jumpsuit – Kouture Consignment, brown structured hat – flea market, jewelry and leopard belt – estate sales.

12 Comments

  1. You are so right about your home environment. I have been an interior designer/jewelry designer for 42 years and oh my goodness the transformation a renovation can give to one’s home and to one’s person is beyond words. You are a marvel and such a grace! Your blog is so inspiring.

  2. I have often “reordered my universe” due to a variety of reasons. I think it has high therapeutic and aesthetic value. Trust your instincts.

    I will read and watch and admire.

  3. As I follow on the same path, I am completing some long overdue details to my outside spaces, and the joy of “accessorizing” my garden and patio is delicious. I am making beautiful space to enjoy my home and to invite others to share it. And now, after three and half years of travel, there is a longing to stay in my own space and create the chapter, Love you Judith and the inspiration that you share!

  4. Wow…your words are as beautiful as you are! “With loss, all relationships change, including the connection with myself.” How true and a good reminder that it is all a process we will go through.
    Thank you

  5. A beautifully written post. Like ourselves, our home needs to reflect the changes in our lives. Decorating and organising is a way of bringing back a little control amidst the chaos – this is why my dolls houses bring me so much joy.
    As always a stunner of an outfit. x

  6. A beautiful post, Judith. I admire your courage and tenacity. Thank you for your inspiration…… God bless you.

  7. I think that for those of us who are driven by aesthetics, creating beauty in the world creates beauty in our hearts.

    After my mother died last August, I just couldn’t move past it. The day after Thanksgiving the holiday decorations came out & I started healing. As I strung the lights, hung the garlands & placed my treasures on the trees, I could feel myself getting stronger & my world getting brighter.

    We are blessed to have a gift that gives to us.

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