Photo by Camille

The Style Crone’s ‘thank you’ on Nelson’s Memorial Service program goes out to my readers and commenters who have been overwhelmingly supportive during this time of loss:

This tribute in the sacred space of dance is an offering of love to Nelson, my beloved life partner. We planned most of this program together and today is a manifestation of his thoughts and desires.  His extraordinarily deep effect on my life will always remain in my heart as I carry his legacy forward.  Courage, strength, resilience, persistence, determination, loyalty, generosity, empathy, acceptance, curiosity, kindness, inspiration, grace, humor, dignity of heart and magic have been a part of my life for over 32 years.  I was fortunate to live with these qualities and his ability to appreciate a great outfit as we navigated the waters of life together with mutual devotion over the decades.  As a parent he provided profound love, consistency, integrity, fun, fairness and thoughtful limits which will be passed on for generations. Today we celebrate and honor a gentle individualist with a powerful presence, sharp intellect and dazzling smile,  and acknowledge the magnificent gifts that he gave to those who crossed his path during his significant life.

I was planning to make a list to express appreciation for each and every one of you for your valued contributions to Nelson’s memorial service, but the list became so long that pages would have been added to the program.  I would like to thank all who played a part in this tribute and to all who added so richly to his well lived life.  I will be forever grateful for your gifts and offerings, your kind and comforting words and loving thoughts.  Nelson’s inspirational spirit lives on in all who were touched by his light.




  1. I hope one day somebody says something so magnificent about me and my life.
    I am so deeply touches, and honoured to have known Nelson through his pics, and have you in my life.
    Much love, my dear friend.

  2. What a wonderful tribute to Nelson. He surely touched many lives with his spirit, grace and humanity.

  3. What a beautiful tribute to your dear Nelson. You too have a dazzling smile and contribute much to all of us.

  4. It was a beautiful Memorial. Few of us will ever be honored in such a well thought, loving, celebratory, dignified, unified way. Nelson lives well, died well, and was shown the way home well.
    You did an incredible job with the many details. Your intention was moving and inspiring. I can imagine that this, now, is one of the tougher times. The space is quiet. Details have subsided. You will need to fill the space. You will need to make the noise. Don’t hesitate to reach out to those multitudes of people that stood with you. They will stand or sit with you now. You must ask them. People think that privacy is a gift to give you, so you must call on us – all of us threads to stay connected and continue to weave on the beautiful garment of your being and life. As Nelson was much loved, You are much loved by many.

  5. What beautiful words you have written in tribute To Nelson, Judith. You are a gifted writer and have been a loving mate for Nelson. And he to you.

  6. I wish I could have attended. Clearly it was a remarkable tribute. As Lonnie said so well, we are quietly standing by and hope we

  7. Well, it was simply stunning…the perfect picture of the rowing machine banked by gorgeous yellow and red flowers and candles, and the beautiful cherished Nelson box, placed powerfully on his throne…the magic was set for remembering and honoring. We were all given a chance to come home, through the words of friends, the music, the dance and beautifully the dancing of his beautiful Camille. And you had on the perfect hat. All of it I know you would have exchanged for another few minutes with your love, but you shared that love with all of us.
    There are things for you to do, to carry this gift to to others. It will come, gently to you, but for now, enjoy the spring into summer into fall, be in the garden, take tea with friends, and rest. For you have journeyed far, my friend. Now it is time to come home to you.

  8. Thanks to Carolyn above for painting the scene for those of us not there. It sounds so lovely.

    J, am overwhelmed by your strength, grace, and the lessons I have learned from you over these sad days of yours.
    You have also reminded to cherish those I love, how little time we have, And how much joy can be found in even difficult days.
    I pray your days become easier.
    Love from Arabia.

  9. Thank you for posting this portion of the Memorial Service Program. I feel privileged to read it and share another moment of honoring memories of Nelson.

    You have poured much time and energy in to preparing for the memorial service, and it may be rough to be without a task to focus your concentrations on now. I hope you will look to those around you, including your online followers, for support, understanding,and encouragement as you experience the fullness of working through this tremendous loss. Just as you inspire us with your blog, we ask that you count on us to lift your spirits and brighten your outlook when you are blue.

  10. Isn’t it amazing how many lives he has touched…and through your blog, even more. I hope it was a beautiful service.

  11. Dear Judith, I’m fairly new here and only just acquainting myself with the events that have hit you in recent months. You have so much dignity and grace, yet it seems you also have incredible strength while mourning the loss of the man who was the love of your life. I don’t know you, yet I feel proud of you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and images here. Many warm hugs to you dear one. xoxo

  12. Just thinking of you so much and wishing you, as others have said, much love & support & beauty to fill the coming days. Thank you so much for sharing with us from the Memorial. I love how the church that became a dance theatre, a place of art, again became a church on that day. A space continually made sacred by the important things happening there, like the way Nelson was honored.

    I love your hat with its beautiful veil. You look stunning.

    Now that this service is behind you, I pray other people and activities come to you as you need them – not too much, not too little. I pray those around you will be aware enough to offer when you cannot ask, and that at other times you can reach out even if it seems people are not paying close enough attention. I pray you will have the time alone you will need, and company when you do not. I pray that light, music, art, dance, and beautiful fashion finds you. Don’t forget all if us here, when you need a lift – or anything! We are all here for you too. Bless you, Judith, for your courage and steadfastness and tender heart and gratitude. You are a remarkable woman!

  13. I’m glad to have met Nelson without having ever seen him or talk to him. Nelson distributed a lot of love, not only to his family …. you spread all that love through this beautiful Internet. Now all we return to you all the love …. just …. all we need you to feel loved.

  14. What a magnificent tribute to a man who obviously loved well, and was well-loved in return. The service sounds like it celebrated all of the best things about Nelson, and your life together. I sincerely hope that now that you no longer have the memorial service to keep you focussed that you will find the strength and courage to press forward towards whatever adventures await you. You have been such an inspiration, and have touched so many of us with your posts about life, love, and amazing hats.

  15. Thank-you for sharing the great love you and Nelson shared. Thank-you for your courage, wit, wisdom and style… Thank-you for showing us how to walk with dignity in the face of sorrow… and to look good doing it! Thank-you for your inspiration. Bless you Judith.

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