Photos by Daniel N

This ‘rasta blue headwear’ was a holiday gift from Nelson (he knows a hat would make me happy?) which just happened to flow with a sweater that had been in ‘one’ of  The SC’s closets for years.  With the neutral navy as a foundation, this outfit was waiting in the wings for Date Night this past Friday. Maybe it will make its public appearance this week!

As this ensemble lies in waiting, The SC reflects on the intensity of the past week.  I remember the unease and apprehension we felt as we prepared for chemo on Wednesday, not knowing if Nelson would receive an infusion, or not. Just before leaving the house, I discovered that AARP had added Style Crone to their updated Elder Blogger List.  I was surprised, pleased and honored by this news!   As we walked out the door, anxiety and excitement floated side by side in my reality.  How do these opposing emotions reside in unison?  How do I reconcile these two feeling states?  But then I had the thought that it was better to have the contrast than to dwell in continual fear.  That I would have more energy to be present with Nelson as the day unfolded.  And as I look back, the rush of good feelings provided calm and balance to what I had perceived as possible impending trauma.

The very next day I had a similar experience.  Nelson was affected deeply by his chemo infusion and was suffering side effects that drained every ounce of his energy.  In an effort to distract myself as he slept throughout the day,  I accessed Ari Seth Cohen’s blog Advanced Style.  And on my computer screen was a post titled, ‘Secrets From Ladies in Their 60’s‘, with The Style Crone as one of the ‘ladies.’ Again, my response was an infusion of positive feelings.

What do I make of the mixture of these emotions of fear, joy, guilt, pleasure, sadness, exhilaration, despair, delight?  How do I accept, integrate and understand the extremes of my experience? Shortly after Nelson’s diagnosis in 2005, I read the book Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert, Ph.D.  It was a profound read!  Dr. Pert states that, ‘Emotions exist as energy and matter, in the vibrating receptors on every cell in the body.’  All I can say is that my cells must be very busy with this flood of disparate feelings and the only solution for me today to resolve this juxtaposition is to take that energy to the Hat Room and focus on the meditation of creativity.


  1. As always, You Look Fabulous! The hat is amazing…tell Nelson, he has impeccable tastes!
    I think for some many bloggers that this is a type of therapy! I read so many that are dealing with really big issues and somehow this helps them walk through it. It is necessary for someone walking through a difficult time to have rays of hope, joy and sunshine shining through. Receive the accolades as a gift while you deal with everything else …..and don’t feel guilty about it!

    Come over to my site and enter my contest….the blue pin would look awesome on you!

  2. Yes, you certainly have been on a rollercoaster. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that I recommended deals with this type of thing, particularly the “resonanting in every cell”. I hope that you can use it on yourself to help you along your way.

    That was a fabulous match of the hat to the cardigan/coat. Amazing! I always find it such a thrill when 2 things bought at different times and different places turn out to be “best friends!” (Like they accidentally got separated from each other!)

    Here’s to carrying on. As Winston Churchill (apparently) said, “When going through Hell, keep going.”

    Love from England

  3. this sweater is beautiful and the hat just looks perfect with it. I do not know whether you are a spiritual person or not, but these happenings may occur as a way to keep you lifted up during a time that Nelson needs you.

  4. Stunning, well matched and even better, an outrageous hat from the outrageous hero of your life! We all want you experience LIFE in all ways and report back.

  5. That is a fabulous and uniquely delightful hat–Nelson obviously knows that only you can carry off such millinery with aplomb. Sending both of you positive energy to help you through this difficult time.

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