Planning Nelson’s Memorial Service now involves my complete focus, my energy, my heart.  Nelson and The SC planned the major part of the service before his death, so it’s a true reflection of his desires.  It will be held at the Cleo Parker Robinson Dance Theatre on Sunday, June 5th at 2pm.  Camille grew up at Cleo’s in the  dance school and we spent many hours over a period of 15 years within the walls of this protective and nurturing Denver institution.  It feels as though we are going ‘home.’  With the help of many talented friends, it’s coming together beautifully.  I have photos filled with memories strewn across the living room floor as I work on providing images that represent the eras of Nelson’s life.  Many pieces of the service are a work  in progress, and the process helps me deal with my feelings of grief and overwhelming loss.  Each day provides its tasks and structure, accompanied with unfamiliar feelings and thoughts as I hesitantly move through life without my beloved partner.


  1. Like Robin, I’m glad you had the chance to plan it together. A friend of mine passed away not long ago and he too helped plan his funeral. It meant so much to everyone to know that it was all to his liking.

  2. love love love love LOVE to you as you put this together. SO glad to hear it’s at Cleo’s – a place where beauty comes to life every day. How completely right to thus celebrate Nelson there. That theatre will become a sacred place as you all gather. I am so glad to hear that Camille “grew up” within those walls – it’s a great place to be, all inspired and driven by Cleo’s shining light. Oh Judith, I wish there were more we could all do for you. Even with all the preparation beforehand, this is a difficult task. Take as many breaks as you need to. I call upon all your angels – human, animal, ethereal, ALL – to strengthen and guide you now. And if it feels like it’s all too much, just do the next thing. The next thing is all you have to do.

    Thinking of you – may you encounter love & kindness everywhere you go these days – Janine

  3. You are moving on in little by little. There is no hurry, just one step at a time.
    What a beautiful thing to do to celebrate your love one life.
    Besos from Berlin, my dear Judith.

  4. I’m very glad that you and Nelson were able to plan his memorial together. This time last year I was planning Mum’s funeral and although hard it helped that we’d planned her mother’s (my grandmother’s) funeral only a few months before, so I was able to know what Mum disliked about such things.
    I shall be thinking of you on 5th June. xxx

  5. Judi,
    What a difficult but loving task. Thinking of you now as the flowers start to bloom in Denver. June 5 will be beautiful.
    XO from Abu Dhabi.

  6. Paying respect is a wonderful thing to do. It is going to be a wonderful service. Not everyone gets such care before and and after thier earthly visit. Not everyone gets a SC.

  7. As Lonnie said, not everyone gets such a beautiful ride through life, with as much love as Nelson gave and received. The photos will be a journey for you as you go through the memories. I’m glad that Nelson helped you with this, so it will be “just right”.

    Much love from England

  8. What you are doing is a wonderful celebration of the life you, Nelson, and Camille shared together. I cannot imagine how hard it is to look at the photos and remember.
    I found these words and thought they were beautiful enough to share. I hope that sharing them with you will give you comfort.

    “What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget.”

  9. This is one more chance to return to celebrate all the years of love that Nelson gave to you, I hope you and your family find the peace you need to keep looking ahead. Hugs, dear Judy

  10. Oh Judith, I am so sorry for your loss- which is so keenly felt that it cuts through this invisible cable that connect us- I feel your loss and the sorrow that lies in it. The price we pay for true love is the recovery from its absence and this time seems blindingly painful to me. I am glad to know you and Nelsen got to plan this service together, that his memory will be lovingly honored and further cherished by you, by his many loved ones.

    I am honored to glimpse this- you really have inspired me by the way you openly share, and the way you’ve loved, and the way you now mourn. I can only hope to meet and find and cherish my own version of Nelsen, in which I hope I will have the tremendous grace and dignity and heart that you have shown so lovingly and bravely here. xo. -Bella Q

  11. Beautiful lady, you are designing the way to honor your beloveds, Nelson, your daughter and yourself and all of us who love you. In this is the true celebration of life. Savor each detail, walk, breathe, cry, repeat. Love, C

  12. Embracing you in spirit as you move forward during this time, glad you have support, and I know the event celebrating Nelson’s life will be unspeakably beautiful, as in ” laugh/ tears”. Sending much, much love.

  13. The memorial you have planned sounds perfect. I hope the remembrances people bring to you about Nelsen that day reveal the many ways he touched their lives.

  14. It’s going to be a beautiful occasion, resting in your love and grief and joy at his wonderful life and your partnership. I wish you strength and peace.

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