The Style Crone loves to walk in City Park, which is a block from our home and has been our back yard for the length of our relationship.  Every season brings its grandeur; spring has its flowering trees and of course, the lilacs. There is an area filled with lilac bushes with flower clusters displaying many shades of lavender and purple, and as I walk along the path between the shrubs, the heavenly scent is a welcomed morning delight.  The space by the pavilion and the band shell is the site of the summer Sunday evening ‘City Park Jazz’ concerts, which Nelson and I faithfully attended over the years.  Nelson taught Camille how to ride her bike in the park.  The Black Arts Festival is held on the park grounds in July and on Sunday afternoons, drummers play by the pavilion.  The Denver Museum of History and Science sits high enough for a dazzling view of the mountains, which greets me as I move my gaze from concrete and glass to snow covered splendor.

I’ve begun to view my walks in the park as a meditation; Nelson and The SC strolled together around the lake too many times to count.  Memories accompany each step and I’m aware that everything of beauty is a reflection of Nelson, be it an object, a building, a plant, a tree, or a bird.  I feel his energy in all things magnificent, which offers calm comfort as I make my way around varying paths back to the home that we shared.

14 Comments

  1. Let the beauty of the flowers remind you that you are still here…you have so much to offer and life to live…I believe Nelson would want you to blossom just like these flowers! I pray for you every morning, Judith.

  2. Your posts these last few weeks have been moving tributes to Nelson. They all bring tears to my eyes. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with those who love you, and finding comfort.

  3. Nice post. Every object, every sight, all the memories. That’s ok. That’s good. Thanks for taking us with you.

  4. Thinking of you during this time. Hoping you are being gentle on yourself and taking care to get what you need to transition your physical separation from Nelson, though of course, his love is going to be in your every heartbeat. Cherish the memories because he will come alive in them, and let’s face it, your Nelson cannot ever be gone from you, not really, you are part of each other. I hope the ache you feel for him can be muted and softened so that it becomes bearable over time and that it will serve to remind you of how much love your heart can hold. But of course, it is still early days yet, and you will be going through such a lot, and that is why I am thinking of you, having read your wonderful writing about life online for a while. However remote the cyber world is, here I am sending you love and the wish for comfort during what is a very hard time to endure and my deepest sympathy that Nelson has passed over xx

  5. Sending loving thoughts of support and comfort to you, lovely Judith. So glad you have the beautiful park and all the memories to walk through. The scent of the lilacs, plus the myriad shades of purple, are SO healing. May the park and all those memories continue to soothe and be your meditation, and may you feel Nelson with you each step of the way on your walk. What eloquent words you kindly share with all of us! We are all here for you, holding you in love — XOXOXO, Janine

  6. I am struggling to find the right words to say after reading this. Mystery surrounds us, but our awareness of it tends to sharpen with the pain of acute loss. I am trying to imagine myself in your situation, and all I can say is you have a great deal of courage! I could so relate to your memory of Nelson teaching your daughter to ride her bike. Such a joyous, exhilarating time! When we are living it, we can scarcely imagine the vitality of the moment fading into memory. My thoughts are with you tonight.

  7. Judith,
    I am so very sorry for your painful loss. I am glad you are taking time to reflect on memories and to continue to deal with all that Nelson has meant to you.

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