Museo Soumaya HERE

Rodin’s sculpture ‘The Thinker’ in the vestibule of Soumaya.

Hola!  Mexico was spectacular and The SC is happy to be home with a renewed sense of wonder. Mexico City was big, bold, colorful!  I was in awe from dawn to late at night thanks to the abilities and the knowledge of our delightful tour guide Monica, who informed us that we were in the middle of a city of 22 million.  Every minute was filled with new experiences; the distance and the activity created distraction and a softening,  yet provided the welcomed awareness that Nelson is with me always. Traveling requires focus and concentration as everything in the environment is new, which in this case for me included the language.  I was able to stay in the moment, but there were incidents that brought the reality of loss to my consciousness. The gifts that I spotted for Nelson. Pulling out my passport and remembering our trip to Panama four years ago.  A ‘mouth watering’ and unusual item on the menu that I knew he would love to try. Watching couples walk hand in hand or public displays of affection. But the moment would pass as I found myself attending to the beauty displayed before me, or the step in front of me that came out of nowhere.

The SC waits outside a restaurant for lunch!  The food in Mexico City was magnificent and many times we were serenaded as we dined, as shown in the photo above.  The salsas, the cactus paddles, the interesting and unique combinations of flavors.  And the best coffee that I’ve ever tasted in my life! I fell in love with the history of the city and the country, its people, the art, the architecture and museums, the markets, the parks and neighborhoods, the food, the pedestrian walkways, the music and everything that awakened my senses.  And the ever abundant display of scarves and shawls that enticed and entranced every step of the way. Head wrap inspiration had never been more abundant!

The SC was interviewed by the warm and engaging Colleen O’Connor of The Denver Post and a front page article appeared in the newspaper on Valentine’s Day.  CLICK HERE to read the piece in The Post. The first photo above was taken by R.J. Sangosti, who accompanied Colleen, and the second photo was taken prior to Nelson’s diagnosis by my dear friend Kelly. The process felt honoring of Nelson and our relationship and lightened a day that had bittersweet meaning as I felt his loss throughout the hours. Last year on this day we went out to dinner CLICK HERE and he was fully present.  We were unaware that in two months he would no longer be at my side.  I am conscious that life is unpredictable and how important it is to embrace each moment as it presents itself.  The full continuum of feelings.

Tomorrow I’m traveling to Mexico with friends.  It will be a new experience and the opportunity to gain a different perspective.  I will be taking a break from blogging, which has been a lifeline since I began on July 13th, 2010.  How will it feel to board the flight without Nelson?  How will it feel to see the sights without the inner dialogue of what I would describe to him about my travels upon my return? How will it feel to take a break from the life sustaining inner planning of my next post?  What headwear will I discover during my travels within this vibrant culture?  And you would be surprised with the number of packable hats that can occupy the small space of a travel bag.  One never knows what inspiration I may encounter and I need a hat inventory to respond to the influences that cross my path.  I know that I intend to immerse myself in this adventure with all of my SC heart.  I believe it will be good for my soul!   I will be return to this wonderful, diverse and international world of blogging upon my return.

Photos by Diana

As The SC walked in City Park this morning a tree with golden leaves caught her attention. From this image came the memory of a camel cape that was recently gifted by a friend.  Returning home I raced through my inventory and built an outfit inspired by nature.  Suddenly I became aware that nearly every piece of my ensemble was gifted by a friend.  I was wearing my friends!  The vintage camel cape (reversible as seen on the back of the collar in the last photo),  the vintage Lilly Dache hat trimmed with jet beads and ornate black braid on camel velvet over blocked buckram, the jet dangle earrings, the long black velvet gloves with intricate camel pattern from a museum gift shop. Nelson sent Camille out into a NYC snowstorm to capture the black knit Wolford leggings for The SC’s holiday gift several years ago.  Only the estate sale beaded pin, black heeled suede boots and black turtleneck were purchased by The SC.  Treasured relationships are life affirming and the foundation of health and meaning.  Friends are a precious lifeline during difficult times and a source of fun and adventure when the light appears.  Friendships are the equivalent of fine art – ‘the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination.’

And then there are dear blogging friends.  Thank you to the beautiful Bella of The Citizen Rosebud HERE for including The SC in her ‘Six +40 Fashion Blogs I Can’t Live Without.’  I am honored and humbled to be in the company of bloggers who inspire me daily with their artistry and style.  Bella is as creative, talented and magical with her outfits as she is with her prose. Thank you also to The Karina Chronicles HERE for the inclusion in their Friday post.  Check out their gorgeous dresses made for every body in Brooklyn.  And check out Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style HERE; lovely Patti actively encourages bloggers of all ages to be confident, alive and VISIBLE.

Photos by Diana and The Style Crone

Vintage blue wool coat with faux persian lamb trim – gifted, jewels – estate sales, vintage black handmade wool fabric hat – vintage shop, knee high all weather black leather boots – retail winter sale.

This past weekend brought snow that covered everything in sight.  The SC was entranced with the softly falling blanket of white.  Even though I felt like staying home in my warm sanctuary, I was driven to continue with my schedule; the structure that keeps me moving.  Why allow an intense winter storm to cloud my internal vision?  I fear immobilization, lethargy, the couch.  The possibility that I could stiffen in a single position and not get up for days.

I was rewarded by this quote from my yoga teacher – ‘Create the self that you will be happy to live with for the rest of your life, fanning the tiny inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.’  This phrase was held closely in my thoughts for the remainder of the cold and snowy day, as I wandered into the winter coat inventory looking for a small fiery particle of inspiration.  I realized that this gifted blue winter coat had never been worn, so as soon as the snow stopped falling, I took it out into the grey, frigid but quietly beautiful day.  With the embellishment of jewels!

Photos by Kathleen and The Style Crone

Pink sweater with cowl and vintage navy fabric gloves – estate sales,  navy turtleneck – Nordstrom Rack,  jeans and navy boots - purchased somewhere in Boston several years ago.

Another day, another acupuncture appointment as The SC demonstrates how a change of hats has the power to transform the trajectory of the day.  A gifted navy wool felt cloche with velvet bow is the chosen chapeau for errands, out for tea or an estate sale if there’s an interesting one to be found.  The very same outfit (which is as casual as The SC gets) topped off with a pink crocheted Xeino hat with feathers is the selected companion for a casual dinner with friends or another evening activity that doesn’t call for a gown.

Change the mood, change the hat.  Change the activity, change the hat. Change the time of day, change the hat. What more could one ask of an accessory?

Photos by Paula

Gifted Sarah hand painted cotton knit cape, black wool Mieko hat, estate sale vintage powder blue gloves and vintage copper jewelry, consignment store powder blue turtleneck, jeans, and boots.

A forty minute drive from home carries The SC to the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to a charming bistro for brunch with friends. This cape, with its constellation of copper, powder blue, gold and off white hand painted on a black background inspired the ensemble for the day’s adventure.  The pairing of copper with powder blue was a combination that hadn’t crossed my mind in the past.  A dear friend was downsizing before a move and when she presented me with this piece of art, how could I possibly decline?  Even though I’m attempting to edit my collections, when something magical appears, resistance is unacceptable in the realm of possible behavioral choices.  Not impulsive, but mandatory! My diverse cape inventory is forever growing, with luscious folds eager to embrace and provide comfort with an equal measure of drama.  I love theatrics in my outfits, but I prefer to create peace in my life.

Speaking of outfits, check out Patti’s Visible Monday!

Photo by Diana

Black/fuchsia fur felt fedora by Guy HERE, estate sale black wool sweater with large covered buttons, estate sale vintage fuchsia gloves and silver jewelry on black background.

The sorting of Nelson’s belongings is complete, and The SC decided that inviting a few friends over during the weekend to choose items in his honor would be more meaningful and personal than donating.  At least as a first step. What happened in the process was memorable, as each person selected a prize from the many items that were displayed. Everything except the special pieces that Camille and The SC had tenderly chosen for safe keeping. The dining room was filled with clothing, hats, shoes and a limited amount of books. The hats were the most popular item; someone proposed the idea of a ‘Nelson Hat Party’ where all could gather wearing hats that he had sported over the years.  There were two sizes available; one category from his afro days and another from the times of short hair or shaved head. This allowed for almost everyone to explore the joy of hats from a precious collection.  The SC found herself unready to let go of several items as they came close to walking out the front door.

I felt engaged and appreciated the laughter and stories from the past along with expressions of personal grief.  However, after the departure of the last guest I was overwhelmed with a new sense of loss as though pieces of myself had left, even though in the hands or on the head of a dear friend.  A personal excavation.  I also felt pleasure to know that each item would have a new life  and I could admire Nelson’s hats on familiar heads in the future.  And as I donate the remaining items to an organization that advocates for the chronically mentally ill, a vulnerable population that was dear to us during our life together, a deep sadness lingers.  But I am also trusting that the the heart knows when to ‘let go.’ Another element of this long and seemingly endless process has been completed.

I made the decision to reread Joan Didion’s  ’The Year of Magical Thinking.’  I needed to remind myself that grieving takes time.  Shouldn’t I be closer to a sense of healing and a new definition of self?  I have become impatient with feelings of vulnerability, the inability to focus and make a decision with confidence, the cognitive disruption.  As I opened the book seven months after the first reading,  I noticed that the author began writing her story nine months after her husband’s death.  I am at the same point in my transformation. What she had to say provided reassurance and comfort, putting turmoil into perspective.   She spoke directly to my every fear.  As time goes by, and I become more awake, the realization of what I’ve lost becomes increasingly stark but remains evasive, unclear, unfinished, ever changing.  I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, although I know it will provide hope in the form of an outfit adorned with a hat.

Photos by Diana

The SC is out the door, into the snow, and off to do errands in a vintage faux fur coat with belt with ‘Made In England’ label purchased at Buffalo Exchange, estate sale vintage rust leather gloves and vintage gold costume jewelry,  NYC street vendor hat and scarf, lululemon leggings and another day spent in the Michael Kors boots.  The front door is a favorite feature of my home, a Denver Square HERE which was built in 1907.  We had it refinished by a master craftsman about 20 years ago so that its hand carved radiant beauty could be fully exposed. This work of art greets The SC and all who enter with the reminder that old and antique is interesting, unique and has its own splendor.

This photo was taken in 1979 shortly after Nelson and The SC began living together.  We were married in 1980; our marriage would have been illegal in Colorado before 1957.  I was wearing a 1940′s dress (manufactured before the 1957 timeline) that he gave me and he was wearing a vintage scarf that I gave him.  Perfect for the dance floor!  Giving each other gifts throughout the decades was one of life’s true pleasures. The MLK Holiday went into effect in 1986, so this image preceded the years that we spent on this day honoring the civil rights activist who was responsible for countless changes that affected the global community and our personal lives.  Nelson grew up in a segregated school system until he entered high school and had many stories to tell.  We would celebrate this holiday in quiet reflection, usually listening to MLK speeches on the radio and reading, after going out for a late breakfast.  How fortunate am I to have deeply rich memories of this holiday that had personal meaning and significance.

A few of the hundreds of books that have permanent residence in our family library.

Photos by Diana

The SC was inspired by Alyson of That’s Not My Age HERE to participate in her ‘call out’ for photos of dresses with sleeves. This estate sale vintage Diane Von Furstenberg black/white geometric patterned cotton/rayon maxi dress is one of my favorites in this category.  I topped off the dress with an Amy Downs black/white felt hat, vintage black velvet gloves and vintage black/white geometric patterned ceramic earrings and grounded the outfit with Michael Kors black heeled boots that were purchased at a department store winter sale years ago.

Putting this ensemble together was my reward for having completed the task of going through all of Nelson’s clothing, hats and shoes. Everything. Hundreds of decisions were made about what to keep, what to give away to friends and what to donate.  It has been an overwhelming and emotional undertaking, but I was fortunate to have help from Camille.  It has been almost nine months since his death and suddenly I knew that I needed to immerse myself in the flood of feelings that came with lovingly touching every item that he had worn or collected over the years.  It was another step in the acceptance of the reality that he is gone forever.  Forever.

Many ‘grief bursts’ later, I am now ready to go through his extensive collection of books.  He was very cerebral and I have countless memories of discussions about history, race, class, feminism, politics, music, health and every topic imaginable after we read in succession many of the books that cover the shelves and surfaces of his office.  We had the same values and loved to look beneath the uppermost layer of an issue.  Digging into the core.  Dissecting the dynamics.  Discovering possibilities.  Sweeping out the corners.  The recollections of our conversations remain dear to my heart and it is that connection that will be the most difficult to reconcile.

Thank you Jean for requesting a close-up of the above estate sale vintage jewelry worn on the previous post.

Every Body Every Wear