The IFs and The SC.

Never a dull moment!

 Valerie’s vintage hat with moving fruit on the Bowery.

Cocktails while admiring Jean’s hat designed by Ignatius.

All photos courtesy of The Idiosyncratic Fashionistas

What are the chances that The SC would meet a woman who was in love with hats AND enamored with the concept of crone self-identification.  In walk the Idiosyncratic Fashionistas (The IFs for short) and I meet not one, but two women who are also hatted crones.  On the eve of the scattering of ashes, The SC met the IFs at Tender Buttons (a button store that made my heart sing) and the hat-venture evolved from there.  Nelson would have highly approved of the frivolity that was about to begin!  The IFs blogged about our time together with their usual humor and remarkable commentary.  CLICK HERE to check out the Idiosyncratic Fashionistas, more photos, and the details described in their post, ‘Cronology and What Happens When Crones Collide.’  No one knows how to tell a story like The IFs.

I found the IFs before I launched Style Crone, and was inspired by their motto, ‘Growing old with verve!’  I have to say that they are as witty, warm and stunning in real life as they are on their blog. After meeting at Tender Buttons, the itinerary included Julie Artisan’s Gallery, a trip on the train downtown to Apotheke for cocktails, dinner at a Latin Bistro, and coffee and more conversation at another spot close by.  Though my camera was not in hand, The IFs kindly sent the photos which documented the best possible way to spend the eve of Nelson’s NY memorial service.  The ‘Deal Closer’ cocktail at Apotheke didn’t hurt either.

As our glorious time together came to an end, Jean and The SC stood on a cold and windy street corner in downtown Manhattan while observing Valerie’s impressive and highly developed cab hailing’ skills; laughing and waving wildly I was whisked off into the night with memories that I continue to savor as I wait for the IFs to blog about their appearance at the Easter Parade.  The SC cannot wait for another fun filled crone collision and the hats that will surely accompany the occasion.

As The SC prepared to fly out the door to meet the IFs, my dear friend Jackie HERE (who generously offered her apartment as our home for the weekend) took this pic of the outfit of the day:  Norma Kamali leopard print toque and gauntlets – The SC’s hat shop 1980′s, black wool vintage jacket and pencil skirt – purchased from a friend’s inventory (some people really do downsize),  vintage pin and earrings – estate sales, and the boots that didn’t leave my feet during my entire NY visit.  This ensemble will be making a visit to Patti’s Visible Monday!

Cover of the book purchased at the Bard Exhibit with a photo of Isabella Blow in a hat by Philip Tracey, 1996.

This journey to NY was different from any other in my past.  I brought my camera, but didn’t use it until the final hours of the day before we returned home.  What  blogger walks the vibrant streets of NY without her camera?  The movements required for photography felt unavailable and leaden, as my lens was internal. Reminding myself that the focus of this trip was a memorial tribute, I accepted that my memories would be accessible in a different form.  It was a time to be spent with people, with friends old and new.  No visits to my favorite haunts.  No explorations of hat shops or flea markets. No attempts to discover new milliners or vintage venues.

However, to fulfill a promise made to myself last fall, I visited the exhibit at the Bard Graduate Center HERE, ‘Hats: An Anthology by Stephen Jones.’   Needless to say, I was in awe of the beauty and creativity displayed before my eyes.  As stated on the Bard site, ‘The exhibition is divided into several sections that reveal the practice of creating hats, how they are worn, by whom, and how they are presented to the client.’  In a spellbound state, I viewed a celebration of the accessory that brings art to my daily life.

Hat quotes from the exhibit:

‘I simply live my life and put it into a hat.’  Stephen Jones

‘Take the one you fall in love with.  Which mysteriously does something for you, which magically makes you feel more  beautiful.’  Genevieve Dariaux  (This quote could also refer to a beloved life partner).

Photo by Ari Seth Cohen

Black structured felt hat – Maeve Carr from The SC’s hat shop, 1985;  Issey Miyake jacket – consignment store; vintage black wool pencil skirt – purchased from a friend’s inventory; black wool turtleneck with peplum – consignment store; tall black leather boots – retail winter sale (perfect for hours of city walking).

The SC met for lunch with Ari Seth Cohen, creator of the revolutionary blog Advanced Style HERE, along with videographer Lina Plioplyte and Advanced Style contributor Debra Rapoport HERE . Debra’s mottos of  ’Frame the Face’ and ‘Look Good, Feel good. Feel Good, Look Good’ ring true for women of any age.  What fun, kind, inspiring and generous company!  Time flew by as we laughed and talked about aging, style, hats and healing.

I discovered Advanced Style months before I launched Style Crone; it had huge importance, power and influence.  I was mesmerized by the photos of women who approached aging with fearless enthusiasm and creative self expression. Without Ari’s vibrant photos of gorgeous older women, I don’t think I would have had the courage to click on ‘publish’ for the first time.  I am also grateful for his support and his focus on increasing our visibility as we age.

Heading out to the streets for photos and more fun, the wind was blowing with such fury that I had to firmly grasp my highly structured chapeau, which functioned as a ‘wind catcher,’ propelling The SC as if she were a sailboat.  Chasing after a hat in a pencil skirt in traffic was to be prevented at all costs!

I was honored, thrilled and surprised to learn that a photo of The SC has been included in Ari’s Advanced Style book, which will be out in May.  A copy of this long awaited treasure, which celebrates and respects aging with style, can be ordered on Advanced Style by clicking on a photo of the book HERE. I can’t wait for my copy to arrive!

It was a cold and windy morning in downtown NYC as Camille and The SC gathered for brunch with friends and celebrated Nelson’s life with stories, laughter, tears and mutual support.  I wore his wedding ring on a silver chain around my neck.  We were enveloped in black with a splash of vibrant color to represent a life well lived.  I had neglected to bring gloves from my extensive collection, which left my hands exposed to the chill of the day.  Nelson would have been amused that I had forgotten an accessory!

We then traveled to Washington Square Park where he loved to sit and ‘people watch.’  Always the astute observer!  He enjoyed the diversity, the chess players and the beauty of the space.  The SC read from a card which had been given to him on our first anniversary.  We proceeded to spread his ashes in the area where he had spent time talking about life with his good friend of many years, a musician who performed at the memorial service following his death and who took these photos.

Photos by Phil

We then took the train to the Upper West Side to the location of several hotels where we had stayed over the 12 years that Camille had lived in NYC.  He was know to sit on the bench in the median on Broadway, and observe the activities of the day.  We spread his ashes and I again read from a card that expressed a sweet moment from the past.  The ritual was complete.  Nelson’s ashes rest in peace in places that he loved.

The remainder of the day unfolded in slow motion as Camille and The SC walked familiar streets, spent time with friends, and toasted Nelson with a glass of wine (with ungloved hand) in a restaurant that he had enjoyed. Nelson’s NYC memorial service was complete and we felt a sense of tranquility and release that we had dedicated our trip to this purpose.

 Photo by Daniel N

Inspired by the sunset over the ocean, The SC draped herself in color.  I discovered this textured orange scarf at a street market and paired it with a fuchsia head wrap as a tribute to my varied and life changing Mexican adventure.  I will never forget the soothing sound of the ocean’s waves and the beautiful, vibrant display that magically appeared over the water every night before dark.  No wonder why the markets were filled with brilliant color!

Thank you to my ‘Soul Brothers’ from the ’70′s, Douglas, Dan and Tom, for generously making the arrangements for the trip!  The SC’s responsibilities were to show up, pay my share, have fun, laugh and dress up.  An offer from dear friends of 40 years that I chose not to refuse!

This weekend I will be in New York City with Camille for the purpose of scattering some of N’s  ashes in the areas of his favorite haunts.  With friends.  With ritual.  To honor his love of the city and the memories of the times we spent together exploring its diverse treasures.  I will be taking a short break as my journey through this year of loss nears an end.

Photos by Daniel N

Returning to the splendor of Mexico!

The SC traveled from Mexico City to Puerto Vallarta – from city to beach for a radical change of pace with my ‘Soul Brothers’ since the 70′s.  I was surrounded by beauty of a different nature with the ocean, palm trees and the ever present and colorful street markets.  Leisurely walks replaced the goal oriented days that were spent moving about in an urban area.  I loved the contrast and welcomed the sound of the ocean as I drifted off to sleep after a day that flowed without a plan.

I challenged myself to put an ensemble together from thrift shop priced street market finds.  I was able to accomplish this task except for the heeled strappy sandals and the black wide brimmed packable hat. A fan of head wraps, the colorful scarves were a constant attraction.  The ‘Frida’ tote became my focus and continual companion, finding it easy to discover choices at the markets that blended well with its blues, yellows, and greens.  The lime green maxi halter dress made itself irresistible on the way to breakfast one morning.  As I view the photos of my ‘days on the beach’ I realize the photos are as hazy as the sky over the ocean and mountains and the pleasant pace of my experience.

My yoga teacher’s quote of the day, ‘Breathe into the great expanse that is your full potential,’ reminds The SC of how Patti at Not Dead Yet Style HERE generously expands the blogging community with her Visible Monday series!

Photos by Diana on Colfax Avenue a few blocks from home.

Last year at the transition to 68 The SC went to dinner with Nelson HERE  in vintage cape and hat, unable to write about the full impact of the hours prior to our outing.  Earlier in the day we had met with our guide (a dear friend of 36 years) from Natural Transitions HERE , had talked intimately about death, made plans within the confines of unpredictability and addressed what N wanted before and after he drew his last breath.  Just a few details!  This conversation, facilitated by our skillful coach, thankfully opened the floodgates for all that needed to be said to each other and to family/friends.  End of life discussions in our culture are difficult to approach, even by those of us who have worked in health care for a lifetime. But it was a relief and the greatest gift to explore and accept without fear that which was staring us in the face.  As I reflect on that day, a year ago, what has transpired remains unreal in many ways, as though I’m looking at the past though a self protective veil or fine layer of gauze.

As for aging, I look forward to the day when the archetype of the ‘crone’ will be revered and honored. Ari Seth Cohen of Advanced Style HERE provides inspiration daily with his respectful and beautiful photos of women and men who are aging with vigor, enthusiasm and style.  Crone to the Bone HERE presents mesmerizing photos of older women across cultures.  The vibrant and diverse global community of fashion bloggers over 40, partying together on The SC’s ‘Blogs We Love’ page HERE , continually energize, influence and delight. There is a revolution of perception in the air!  Why not live as though that day has arrived? Perhaps that’s the best strategy to deal with the unconscious inner ageist that makes unwelcome visits despite my best intentions.

But I digress.  Why be so serious on this day?  Why not take a vacation from my memories and live in the moment, go out to dinner with Camille and laugh with friends.  Raise a toast to Nelson with a frivolous gloved hand and enjoy the movement of my estate sale vintage chandelier earrings.

In celebration of 69, my sartorial choice is a black rayon dress with peplum ‘from the 40′s,’ like me.  A garment that shows the ‘changes that come with age,’ like me.  And an Irene of New York black velvet structured beret with amber satin bow and amber jewels that are ‘vintage,’ like me.  And a pair of long black fingerless gloves that serve as sleeves and allow the accessory of nail polish to be revealed. The tall contemporary black leather boots ground The SC in the present.

And as for grief and loss, not to be denied, I was touched by this piece by Cheryl Eckl from ‘A Beautiful Grief’ HERE :

“I am your best friend. Your most authentic guide—because I live so deep inside of you. Some may think me a dark and sinister figure because I am the great disturber of worlds and ideas and beliefs. The false or, perhaps, the incomplete things you have used as crutches. You know this about me now. I will only tell you the truth about where something is different. Where an opening exists. Where a doorway can be found. You must open the door yourself. But I unlock it.”

I have discovered a birthday cluster.  Bloggers born under the sun sign of Pisces within hours of each other, though in different years.  Jean of dross into gold HERE and Rose of Forever on the Catwalk of Life HERE were born on March 14th and The SC on March 15th.  When I became aware of this connection it was too intriguing to pass up without mention.  Check them out on this their special day!

Jean and Rose have been supportive, generous, kind and empathetic commenters on SC for as long as I can remember.  Many times my responses were limited as I struggled with focus, but every comment or email was important and enlightening (also true for all readers and commenters during this difficult time).  Over the past several months these accomplished women have launched their own spirited blogs and are commenting on each others’ blogs with their unique writing skills, displaying amazing visual style and internal beauty. It’s been thrilling for me to watch them shine with self expression, and they have only just begun. They are exquisite additions to the vibrant international blogging community.  This post is an expression of my appreciation!

As The SC entered the Frida Kahlo Museum HERE she was mesmerized by the image portrayed in the first photo. My palette has been emboldened and catch the full body polka dots!  As we toured the gardens I found a spot beneath Frida’s bedroom, which allowed a glimpse of her lace bedspread and a window into her colorful and significant life. Her influence was seen and felt in the city throughout our visit, along with that of her husband Diego Rivera HERE.

The SC felt insignificant standing near sculptures in Mexico City’s Historic Center!

Declared by our guide as the most beautiful building in the Historic Center, the Palacio de Bellas Artes HERE is adorned with Mexican deco and magnificent murals are displayed by the greats – Rivera, Siqueiros, Tamayo and Orozco.  The exquisite beauty of the museum and its galleries were a reminder that life is filled with a balance of grandeur and of loss (along with a plethora of ideas for headwear design).

The Catedral Metropolitana HERE is the largest church in Latin America and took almost three centuries – 1525-1813 – to complete.  Therefore, there are multiple styles of architecture and I was fascinated with its five principal alters and a select number of the 16 chapels containing paintings, sculptures and lots of gold.

The Zocalo HERE is one of the largest public squares in the world.   The Palacio Nacional HERE was the former office of the President of Mexico.

 The exterior of a shoe store founded in 1865!

I was captivated by this proud, regal and majestic city!  It was difficult to choose photos from the many taken during my travels and the links that I included in this post were selected for the images, which speak a thousand words.  I have memories that I now cherish and hold dear; ‘adios’ to Mexico City and the gifts that I received from its splendor.

Coyoacan HERE is a borough of Mexico City with well preserved architecture from the pre-revolutionary and colonial eras.  The coyote fountain gave the area its name.  I loved the vivid street markets, the museums, the interesting shops and restaurants, the Aztec dancers and craft fairs.  The feather headdresses have taken up permanent residence in the inspiration area of my brain.

Feather headdress behind glass at the Museum of Anthropology.

The Museum of Anthropology HERE consists of twelve galleries of a world-renowned collection of finds from Mexico’s pre-Columbian cultures.  It would take weeks to thoroughly tour the entire museum. These photos are a minuscule example of my limited viewing.  Our guide Monica was very knowledgeable about the many cultures represented and Mexico’s rich history.  Absorbing and integrating my experience will be ongoing.  I have no idea how it will affect my life as I enter the final month and one half of  ’the year of firsts.’  As any significant experience, it is now a part of me.  How it will be expressed is a mystery that brings feelings of warmth and optimism and an intermittent confidence that is growing out of the embers of grief.

Now off to join Patti’s Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style.