Thank you to all for your beautiful, kind, compassionate and generous words during this time of grief and sadness. Camille and The SC have been touched by your comforting comments which have been accepted with gratitude. We honor that many of you have had similar experiences and we are aware that grief is universal. Your expressions of empathy have provided solace and support. Even though we knew that Nelson was leaving, we weren’t prepared for the feelings of devastation, disorientation, and the heaviness of heart. Every day is unfamiliar as we slowly adjust to the overwhelming loss of a magnificent man.
I have begun referring to the fabric covered dragon journal and my notes that were recorded prior to Nelson’s death. It’s helpful to have direction with the tasks that were his in the division of labor within our relationship. The structure helps when I feel adrift and dazed. The house seems large now without his presence which held so much space in our peaceful sanctuary, our home. The silence and the inability to have an exchange of words. The longing for him to be here for just one more day, hour, minute. ‘Who am I?’ in this life without him? Spending time in our home surrounded by memories, wearing his clothes, and walking in the park as we did many times together over the years, soothes my broken heart as I navigate each day, searching for peace within chaos.