April 17th, 2011

Photo by The Style Crone

There’s that dime we’ve been turning on again.  How quickly things change as crisis hit yesterday and didn’t get resolved without 12 hours in the ER.  Nelson spent the day in bed before a late night ambulance intervention set up by hospice.  The SC’s pin collection gazed at her during this day as part of the art in our bedroom. Each unique piece a reflection of a spot in time. Gifts from Nelson, family and friends. Estate sales and yard sales.  Events and dates.  Thirty-four years spoke to me from velvet and frame.

Status change can be instantaneous at this point.  Camille and The SC slept in varying positions on interesting surfaces in the ER, bonding as never before with our shared devotion and concern for her father.  The years of suffering that he has endured are revealed on his face, only increasing the strength of his presence.  Even now, through the fog of pain meds he will occasionally flash his charismatic smile, filling the room with radiance if only for a few seconds.  His ever present ‘reebok’ cap warming his head in the unrelenting brightness of the ER on a Saturday night filled with the traumas of our fellow travelers.  The compassionate act of a caregiver covering Camille and The SC with heated blankets warm more than our bodies.  The nurse who sweeps me into her arms and weeps with me as she cares for Nelson.  The hospice nurse who says to me as we leave for home per ambulance, ‘The two of you are lovers.  This is the best time and the hardest time-for both of you.’ -took my breath away!

Nelson is in a hospital bed in the living room.  He can no longer navigate the stairs to our bedroom.  But he is at home and comfortable, surrounded by familiar sights and love.  A new level of care is required and I will post as I am able.  Thank you to the readers of Style Crone and those of you who comment with such kind and caring support.  You make a huge difference in our journey.

63 Responses to “Whiplash”

  1. Judi

    Sending you love and support.

  2. Suzanne

    Dear Judith,

    The same night falls on all of us, just at different times. I know the things you describe too: your person’s smile as the gift you always wanted, the intimacy of strangers who are not strangers, the community of hospice. You and your beloved are in my thoughts today.


  3. Carol

    I am thinking of you and Nelson this Easter weekend, hoping for peace and serenity in the midst of horror.

  4. Rosy

    You take days without taking photos, indicating that this is getting worse, now I send all my good thoughts to your family find peace for the moment. Nelson is happy to be surrounded by so much love.

  5. Debbi

    My thoughts and heart are with you all.

  6. Kathy

    I have been checking the Denver obituaries every day since the 17th, and was shocked and saddened to see Nelson’s name there today. I so hope the comments above have helped ease your way just a bit, we all love you, Nelson and Camille. When you are ready, Dear Style Crone, we are more than willing to walk the next steps with you. Whatever you need……

    And for all the loving friends above, if you go to Nelson’s entry in the paper, there is a link to a guest book.

  7. Doreen

    Oh dearest Judith, my heart aches for you and Camille at the loss of your dear husband and father. I am out of the country & just had to check my favorite blog (yours!) and am saddened to read that Nelson has passed. You and Camille are in my thoughts & I send hugs of comfort to both of you and to everyone whose life he touched. My deepest condolences to you. I am so sorry, my friend.

  8. Martha

    Hi, Judith. I just saw the notice about Nelson in the paper today. I am so sorry to hear it. You’re in my thoughts. Wishing you peace and sending you love,
    Martha in Denver

  9. BeckyC.

    Dear Judith:

    You take my breath away with the strength of your spirit and the power of your love for Nelson.

  10. Margaret

    Support and love as you take your next steps forward. Go gently. I know I speak for all your fans and supporters when I say we are with you and Camille every step.

  11. fuyume

    What a beautifully written post. My thoughts are with you and my heart goes out to you.

  12. Madison

    Sending love & blessings your way during this time. My prayers are deeply with you & your family.

  13. Joan Price

    I’m coming late to these posts, and crying as I read them. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope you can let us be a comfort to you now. We hold you close.

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