Three Views

April 4th, 2011

Photos by Nelson

Brown fur felt cloche-Guy NYC, vintage tangelo orange wool coat with belt-gifted, vintage orange/brown/pink striped scarf and vintage brown leather gloves-estate sales, vintage pink earrings-vintage shop.

It goes without saying that The Style Crone adores hats, but a chapeau that is created in a manner that every view presents a new picture is especially appealing.  Because yesterday blew in with snow and a chill, today was an opportunity to go back to winter wear with a felt hat and wool coat.  As I was adjusting my hat and turning my head to examine every possible angle, I realized that different views are present in life situations as well.  The background remains the same, but the point of view (the look of the hat) shifts.  Looking at Nelson’s health status front and center, I feel devastated and overwhelmed with anticipatory grief and a sense of loss.  When I turn to the side and gaze upon our circumstances differently I see beauty in how we express ourselves in our relationship because the time we have together is limited.  It makes each day more intense with vibrant color and no matter how I might have tried in the past, it was never possible to live each day as if it were my last.  Now I experience the moments with Nelson with deep gratitude and soft celebration, appreciating the memories, looking at photos from the past with a new eye, and interacting with a meaning that didn’t exist before we began to accept that he is dying.  I identify a totally different landscape as I move to the opposite side and consider the complexity of the process that presents itself daily and how this profound transition, as I have mentioned before and think about often, resembles birth in that it’s unpredictable, mysterious, and has its own preparations.  Another perspective occasionally surfaces by whispering softly into the ear that is covered by The SC’s hat that a spontaneous remission will surprise us all and that it’s never too late to hope for the best in the midst of a seemingly relentless position.

18 Responses to “Three Views”

  1. NancyDaQ

    Another lovely ensemble. That coat is just beautiful and perfect for springtime in the mountains.

    Your thoughts about looking at life from different angles were very profound, and so true. I wish the best for both of you.

  2. WendyB

    You two are lucky to have each other.

  3. SizzleandZoom

    You are so lovely and so wise. I love the light orange coat and the views of the brown
    felt hat and of your life.

  4. Terri

    Your coat is lovely. These days are precious to you both. Know that you are in my prayers daily, though you haven’t asked for them.

  5. Mary

    I look forward to seeing your wonderful outfits and even more to your words of wisdom. This is from someone who livesf in Kahkis, fleece vests, T shirts and clogs. To dress up for me is to add a scarf or pin or earings. So to see how carefully and beautifully you dress is a real eye opener and a joy.

    I’m struggling to deal with an incurrable, progressive eye disease that will eventually take away my ability to read, drive, watch T.V., see things on the computer, sew, quilt, and basically go through life independently. I’m scared.

    Whenyou share the journey you and and Nelson are navigating through with such insight and joy, I am humbled and heartened.
    Thank You Both

  6. Jean

    Each angle has it’s own beauty. This outfit seems to have a balance and warmth that I find very appealing. Lovely as always!


    It is difficult to undestand how calm and wise you are in the face of death. How you cherish each momment. My dear Judith you are both such an example to all of us…
    Going back to your blog, I see grat improvement. The bigger photos form different angles.
    Do tell Nelso, his photos have a touch of magic.
    Much love to both of you.

  8. lihabiboun

    I am sending you beams of sun to warm you and springtime greens and blue skies to create a surrounding that does you good. Love from Munich!

  9. Fanny Pinkleton

    Holding onto the ‘never too late for remission’ is the bitter in the sweet ‘living each moment for now’ of living and loving someone who is at the portal of life. You are at the portal too, when you are midwife to this kind of birth. So like birth, I can attest to that, having been present at births at ‘both’ ends of the spectrum. And to be conscious and aware during this time of thresholds and corners being turned and portals and moments? This is the gift. I was in the fortunate situation to be aware of how precious each moment is with a loved one, and right to the last I lived in hope, but we were close there was a lot of eye contact, a lot of quiet strength even when the strength faltered we found it, and we knew and what we got to know, thankfully, because we could, was that love is eternal…in this moment, in the next and in whatever might come. On the other side now, I see that the time before that portal opened was banked in my cells and continues to nurture. I am so glad for you that you are aware, and that you are brave and that you have each other.

  10. Willa

    You provide words of wisdom that give me much to ponder as I am engaged with signficant changes in my own life and the relationship with my significant one. I appreciate all that you share and the fullness of meaning that unfolds as I reflect on the perspective you offer. Thank you.

  11. RobinDenning

    Beautiful and bittersweet. The colors in today’s photos are intense and gorgeous.
    Your comparison to birth makes absolute sense.

  12. Lonnie

    You are truly living through this. It is beautiful. Both of you are also inspiring others. Love, love, love.

  13. deja pseu

    Beautiful. Not only your lovely clothing, but your words and thoughts as well.

  14. Rebecca

    As I often make myself miserable with daily trivia, your thoughts in today’s post really resonate with me. We are all guilty of neglecting to appreciate the day’s fleeting nature and beauty and need to stand back a little and give it the gratitude and thankfulness it deserves.
    Thank you and Nelson for sharing your lives with us.

  15. Debbi

    Everything you wear is absolutely beautiful on you.
    Your words make me realize that everyday is a gift. None of us knows for certain that there will be a tomorrow for us or our loved ones. We should all aspire to live like you and Nelson–savoring each moment. That you share your journey is your gift to us all. Thank you.

  16. M Williams

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. A poignant post.

  17. Rosy

    What a feeling! I can only feel emotion when reading your words, I admire your serenity and acceptance of life cycle. You and Nelson are in my heart …

  18. carolyn

    now the writing is as deep and full of wonder as the costumes…you are reaching deep within and bringing forth the beauty that is life…you make poetry in words and and life. Thank you! Carolyn

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