What to Wear to Oncology

February 23rd, 2011

Photo by Nelson

Plum/orange hat-consignment store; vintage 1940’s plum wool jacket with fur trim, vintage orange leather gloves, vintage jewelry-estate sales; long black rayon skirt-Camille cast off.

Nelson’s oncology appointment today was  a consultation to determine follow-up details.  His blood work values continue to indicate cancer growth and liver dysfunction.  The chemo infusion two weeks ago did nothing but cause distress and suffering, so Nelson’s decision to discontinue treatment was reinforced. When asked about his symptoms, he described ‘itching’ as a frequent occurrence.  The oncologist asked what seemed to help this side effect of liver impairment and Nelson wryly replied with ‘scratching.’ Always the comedian, his comment cut through the tension and intensity of the moment as though he had just punctured a balloon.  I found myself laughing through my tears and on the way home I attempted to come up with a word to describe my reaction.  None came to mind, so The SC came up with ‘laugh-tears.’  Making up new words won’t change our circumstance, but with Nelson by my side it could become a frequently used term as our journey continues.

13 Responses to “What to Wear to Oncology”

  1. SizzleandZoom

    Laughter seems to release stress like steam coming from a tea kettle. You are a
    beautiful and strong lady. You look lovely in the plum wool jacket.

  2. Rose

    Plum and orange! Laughter and tears. Continuing on. How life evolves. Think of you both often and look for your blog before doing anything else.

    Much love from England

  3. Nelson

    As we get ready to embark on a three day mini-vacation, hear and feel my words. My love for Judith goes down to the core of my being. It goes down to the cellular level, deep into the marrow of my bone. My love for her is eternal, the earth does not need to feel my feet to validate that my love remains. My love was there in the very beginning; it is ancient, it is primitive, it is primordial. I believe I loved her in another time, in another space. I was merely transformed into this body for the world to see, here is a man that knows how to love a beautiful woman throughout the ages.

  4. Pam@over50feeling40

    I just read Nelson’s words….tears….a pain in my stomach….Judith, you have something many women never know….and you are a woman of strength and dignity in my eyes. May the next three days bless you both beyond expectations.

  5. carolyn

    The love story continues. It is rich, embellished, and deeply moving. Nelson, you are incredibly strong and grounded into the ages. Scratch, laugh and have a gorgeous weekend!

  6. deja pseu

    You and Nelson have such strength, dignity and humor. I think about you both every day.

    Your ensemble is so elegant. I love the necklaces! Have a lovely weekend.

  7. Donna

    Lovely outfit! I am always in awe of how you express yourself and after reading Nelson’s words, I am in awe of how he expresses himself. You and Nelson are “evenly yoked” and it shows in your relationship.

  8. Shelley

    I love that plum wool coat!

  9. Peg

    I have followed your blog for a long time. I truly admire your style and your strength. I love the term laugh-tears. It says it all – sometimes we do laugh through our tears. My admiration goes out to you and Nelson. Peg on Vancouver Island, Canada

  10. kathleen

    holy crap! how lawful and perfect! i’ve just read what to wear to oncology and nelson’s comments about you, judith and i am silent except for a deep inhale of longing. longing for a perfect union of such courage and fortitude and long views beyond this earth which the two of you so elegantly share. you both have captured my heart.

    much, much love, kathleen

  11. Jean

    Judith, I was struck by your pose in this shot: balanced and strong, open and vulnerable. Amazing. And for those of us not fortunate enough to have met you and Nelson, hearing his powerful voice in the comments section, blending so perfectly with his beloved’s voice, gave us an opportunity to hear your song with even greater richness and depth. Thank you so much.

  12. Terri

    I have cried laugh tears…but never before knew what to call them. It is wonderful to laugh that way.

    The orange with the plum is such an interesting color combination.

  13. WendyB

    Ah, Nelson…good one!

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