What to Wear to Palliative Care

February 17th, 2011

Photo by Nelson

Long red sweater-TJ Maxx, black/red silk scarf-flea market, patent leather ankle boots and patent leather belt-yard sales, suede/patent leather cap-Nordstrom’s Rack, suede gloves-estate sale.

Nelson and The Style Crone had a second appointment with Palliative Care this afternoon.  It’s a relief to talk without restraint about end of life issues.  One of the most significant concepts brought forth by the physician is that within our culture we talk openly about birth, but death is not approached in the same manner even though it too is a phase of life. She reassured us that ‘just because we talk about death, that won’t make it happen.’  Having worked in health care, it’s not that this is a new idea for me, but because I’m experiencing these issues with Nelson it’s personal.  Fear and anxiety stop in for a visit, accompanied with troubling and unfamiliar thoughts.  I calm myself with the knowledge that though Nelson has decided to halt medical interventions, he continues to be engaged in what he loves to do.  So bring on the shared moments, the new experiences, the fresh flowers, and the sadness too.  We have a lot of life to live!

15 Responses to “What to Wear to Palliative Care”

  1. LindaG

    You and Nelson are Buddhas, dear heart.

  2. lihabiboun

    What dignity, what courage! Lately I thought, looking at your fabulous pictures I see the love for your husband in your eyes, you are beaming and radiating positive energy. And you are an example to a lot of people I think. Thank you for that Judith. Love from Munich.

  3. Mary

    Dear Style Crone

    I remember my mother coming to the same decision as Nelson. It did not mean that she had turned her back on life, or the future. Yes, you still have a lot of life to live and yes, it will be sad as well as, in some ways, wonderful. I’m from New Zealand and, in Maori you say, Kia kaha, Kia toa: be brave be strong. You also say arohanui:great love. I am wishing all of this for you and Nelson.

  4. Judy

    I think you two get more out of life while facing death than most of us do ever while living life.

  5. NancyDaQ

    I think the world of palliative care and its providers; they help make the best of a difficult time. My best to you and Nelson.

  6. Jan

    I am a five year cancer survivor and understand what you have been dealing with. The treatments are exhausting and difficult, to say the least. Each person has the right to make their own personal decisions of what to do, when to go forward, and when to stop. I wish you and Nelson much love, light and laughter as you enter into the next stage of living your lives to the fullest. Life is fragile; savor each moment. Blessings to you.

  7. SizzleandZoom

    You look stunning in red as always. Love that you shop at T.J.Maxx and Nordstrom’s
    Rack, two of my resources. You and Nelson are in my heart and thoughts as you
    go through this time in your life.

  8. Terri

    The outfit is a knock out!

    And each remaining day and hour is so precious…

  9. Collette Osuna

    Hello…I found your blog through Bellas over 40 blogger post. Im featured with you:)
    SO nice to meet you….love the red outfit:)

    Stop by and say Hello:)
    Enter my EL Vintage Giveaway!!♥

  10. Camille

    I haven’t commented yet because I didn’t know what to say. You look beautiful as always and are a bright light in both of ours eyes. I am flooded with sadness and looking forward to as many posts as possible with him behind the camera. We will cherish everyday and enjoy all lof our time together and as many outifts as possible.

  11. Shelley

    Judith, you look gorgeous in that sleek red dress with the black accents. I am glad that you and Nelson are discussing palliative care–it is important to be able to choose the kind of death we want, if we have the time and ability to make that decision. If only more people were willing to discuss death and the emotional issues surrounding it more openly, it would relieve some of the fears and anxiety, and make it possible for more people to find peace at the end of their life. I hope that you and Nelson continue to have much quality time together, and there will be many more fabulous outfit posts!

  12. linda linda linda

    I love seeing you in stunning colors, especially, a color of courage, strength and love. I’m sitting now in my red feather boa and sending all the courage, strength and love to you all.

  13. Becky

    The days are precious jewels, aren’t they? When my son was dying of lymphoma it seemed that we could live an entire lifetime in the space of ten pain-free minutes. Adorn yourself with love, SC, and wear those precious jewels with gladness.

  14. Joan Price

    I do love your style and spunk, especially when you’re dealing with such shattering issues. I’m thankful that palliative care is available to you and that you’re taking advantage of it. Such angels share their skills and compassion in that arena.

    You’re using this blog so well — keeping the style theme and posting gorgeous photos, while you share your personal crisis and accept our loving comments. You have a really big family here, I hope you realize.


  15. Maravonda

    Dear Judith…I read your posts in little lumps of time, I did not realize that you and your Nelson have decided on palliative care. You have made this journey with such grace, and as a hospice nurse, I can see that this last will unfold with days of joy as well as sadness. You have shared your life so generously with us, and I hope that you will continue to do so as your time permits. All of us have been blessed to have you and Nelson in our lives. Thank you…

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